Mr. Potato Head Saves Veggie Valley

Mr. Potato Head Saves Veggie Valley

"Don't worry, everyone! See this little green spot? It's got cyanide in it! Now stand back!"

Star Wars Super Soaker

Super Soaker Star Wars Revenge of the Sith Wookiee Water Blaster

Careful. It's a bitch to get that wet wookiee smell out of your upholstery.

Women Who Love Cats Too Much

Women Who Love Cats Too Much

This is not, in fact, porn.

My Scene Date Doll: River with Two TV Dinners

My Scene Date Doll: River with Two TV Dinners

This is what the kids find romantic these days? Salisbury steak?!

SlaveCraft

SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude -- Principles, Skills, and Tools

Gotcha! It's not Warcraft set on the Underground Railroad!

There Is Eternal Life for Animals

There Is Eternal Life for Animals

As someone who's had pets who have died, and someone who has a couple of fur babies, the idea of an afterlife for pets is somewhat comforting. But does this mean that, like, termites live forever too? Or is it a Velveteen Rabbit thing, where animals who are loved get real souls? Of course, dogs are exempt from this discussion, cf. All Dogs Go To Heaven (Bluth & Goldman 1989).

Ten Redneck Babies

Ten Redneck Babies: A Southern Counting Book

A fellow from Alabama goes to the doctor. "Doc," he says, "I want a vasectomy. I done had ten redneck babies, and I reckon that's enough." The doctor begins to tell him about the vasectomy procedure, but then he checks the fellow's chart and notices he's from Alabama. So the doctor says, "All you have to do is light a cherry bomb, put it in a beer can, and count to ten."

The fellow thinks to himself that can't be right, so he goes to another doctor and says "I want a vasectomy." The doctor begins to talk to him about pre-op, but then notices that the fellow is from Alabama and tells him, "Just light a cherry bomb, put it in a beer can, and count to ten."

The fellow figures that if both doctors told him the same thing, it must be right. So he drinks a beer, sat down in a chair, lit a cherry bomb, and put it in the beer can. He holds out his left hand and starts counting -- "one, two, three, four, five." Then he pauses and puts the beer can down between his legs to finish up on the other hand -- "six, seven, eight....."

Chicken Poop

Free Range Chicken Poop

"Made of the finest ingredients." Uh-huh.

Lure for Her Pheromone Cologne

Lure for Her Pheromone Cologne

Probably not a good thing to wear to church.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Mafia

The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Mafia

A very special edition of Today's Odd Amazon Discovery, as we celebrate the wonders of the Complete Idiot's Guide series of books. First up, a helpful hint: if you need the Complete Idiot's Guide to the Mafia, chances are you're better off not associating with the Mafia.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Communicating with Spirits

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Communicating with Spirits

I'm great at communicating with spirits. Tequila, rum, vodka...

The Complete Idiot's Guide to America Online 4

The Complete Idiot's Guide to America Online 4

If you need this book, throw your computer in the garbage and get a typewriter. Seriously.

Wacky World of Peafowl, Volume I

Wacky World of Peafowl, Volume I

Oh, peafowl, what won't you hump?

Your Disgusting Head

Your Disgusting Head: The Darkest, Most Offensive, and Moist Secrets of Your Ears, Mouth, and Nose

I prefer my secrets light, pleasant, and dry. Obviously this book is not for me.

Jeff Costa's Cardio Strip Tease Workout

Jeff Costa's Cardio Strip Tease Workout

"Hey, baby <*pant, pant*>, isn't this <*pant, pant, wheeze*> turning you <*pant*> on?"

BRAINS!

BRAINS! Harnessing the Power of Emotional Intelligence

Go Zombie, Go Zombie, Go!

Polka Happiness

Polka Happiness

Not sure about you, but I don't really find true happiness through the ancient art of the polka. Must be some sort of vitamin deficiency.

The Tao of Equus

The Tao of Equus: A Woman's Journey of Transformation and Healing Through the Way of the Horse

I'm not so sure what Equus has to do with Taoism, but whatever.

Earth Angels: A Pocket Guide for Incarnated Angels, Elementals, Starpeople, Walk-Ins, and Wizards

Earth Angels: A Pocket Guide for Incarnated Angels, Elementals, Starpeople, Walk-Ins, and Wizards

I know, I know, bizarre new-agey philosophy (?) books are low-hanging fruit. But gosh darn it, sometimes the low-hanging fruit is ripe and tasty!

Talking Scale

Talking Bath/Kitchen Scale Combo

I just like the idea of hacking the scale and teaching it to say "OWWWW!" whenever anyone steps on it.

Infant Camouflage

Infant Camouflage

It's a jungle out there, so you gotta start 'em young.

Braille Tarot Deck

Braille Tarot Deck

"In your future, I see . . . huh. Nothing. Why does that always happen?"

Marijuana Leaf Candy Molds

Marijuana Leaf Candy Molds

Best saved for candy so good, it should be illegal.

23-inch Shoehorn

23-inch Shoehorn

Suggestion: if you need that much torque to pry your shoes off your feet, buy bigger shoes!

Erotic Nude Yoga

Erotic Nude Yoga

I wasn't sure which was more frightening -- this or Totally Nude Aerobics. I figure that, while Totally Nude Aerobics might be more painful to those of us with breasts, the idea of attempting to be erotic while holding a good downward-facing dog and concentrating on the breath was significantly more incongruous. And here at T.O.A.D., we like incongruity. And nudity.

Digital Golf School

Digital Golf School

This video probably isn't nearly as odd as what I assumed it was when I first found it -- a tutorial on how to kick ass at Golden Tee.

Hip-Hop for Kids! Pop! Lock! Break!

Hip-Hop for Kids! Pop! Lock! Break!

I'd like to see Dora the Explorer bust out some hardcore hip-hop dance moves. Sadly, I don't think it's going to happen in my lifetime. Until Dora hits her teens and decides to rebel.

36 Stink Bombs

36 Stink Bombs with Free Itching Powder

I just like that there's a company called Stinkbomben.

The Metrosexual Style Kit

The Metrosexual Style Kit

Apparently in order to be a metrosexual, all you have to do is trim your nails and your nose hair. So if you're reasonably diligent about your personal hygeine, you may already be David Beckham. Wouldn't that be trippy?

Ass in Antarctica Hot Sauce

Ass in Antarctica Hot Sauce

I thought the perfect compliment to any meal was, "Wow, meal! You taste good!" Not "ASS IN ANTARCTICA!" I'm just naive like that, I guess.